[ILUG] Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator

[Edwards, Benjamin ()]

Generated by Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator 
http://www-csag.cs.uiuc.edu/individual/pakin/complaint/

Because of Mr. Bill Gates' attitude, I usually don't respond to his
perversions, but this time I'll make an exception. For starters, the nicest
thing that can be said about Bill's lackeys is that they are goofy
insurrectionists out to demonstrate an outright hostility to law
enforcement. Already, some piteous neanderthals have begun to fund a vast
web of uncontrollable vagabonds, combative slackers, and naive
malodorous-types, and with terrifying and tragic results. What tracts will
follow from their camp is anyone's guess. Think about that for a moment.
Simply put, every morning Bill asks himself, "How can I fool the masses
today?". The law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society
on our minimum standards of behavior. 

It is grossly misleading merely to claim that Bill simply regurgitates the
empty arguments that have been fed to him over the years. Strange, isn't it,
how disrespectful control freaks are always the first to trick academics
into abandoning the principles of scientific inquiry? At least 80 percent of
the people in this country recognize that he should be locked up. And if
that seems like a modest claim, I disagree. It's the most radical claim of
all. 

Does Bill have trouble living with himself, knowing that Bill's wheelings
and dealings disgust and infuriate me? In my effort to uncover his hidden
prejudices, I will need to provide you with vital information which he has
gone to great lengths to prevent you from discovering. I'm not going to say
why; we all know the reason. Stingy feckless lowbrows can go right ahead and
convict me for saying that I, for one, am morally and ethically opposed to
his sentiments, but History, acting as the goddess of a higher truth and a
higher justice, will one day smilingly tear up this verdict, acquitting me
of all guilt and blame. His solutions are so narrow-minded that if allowed
to go unanswered, their final cost would be incalculable. Why doesn't Bill
try doing something constructive for once in his life? Some people have
compared impertinent hedonists to illiterate vile morons. I would like to
take the comparison one step further. Let me close where I began: This is a
frightening realization.