[ILUG] The devil made me do it..

[Mike Knell]

See what happens when I get bored..

SEVEN DRUNKEN NIGHTS OF SYSTEM ADMINISTRATION
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These lyrics Copyright (c) Mike Knell 2000, otherwise Trad.

1)
As I logged in on a Monday night, as drunk as drunk can be,
I saw a file in /etc, where my old files should be
So I walled my users and asked of them, will you kindly tell to me
What's this strange file in /etc, where my old files should be?

"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's the latest BIND config that Vixie sent to thee."
Well, there's many a night that I've hacked a thousand lines or more,
But a BIND config called "eggdrop", that I've never seen before.

2)
Then as I logged in on a Tuesday night, as drunk as drunk can be,
I saw some weird binary where my old shell should be,
So I walled my users and asked of them, will you kindly tell to me
What's this weird binary, where my old shell should be?

"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's the latest release of bash that Ramey sent to thee."
Well, there's many a night that I've hacked a thousand lines or more,
But shell builtins called "r00tme", that I've never seen before.

3)
Then as I logged in on a Wednesday night, as drunk as drunk can be,
I saw some obfuscated source where my old source should be,
So I walled my users and asked of them, will you kindly tell to me
What's this obfuscated source, where my old source should be?

"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's the new EMACS release that Stallman sent to thee."
Well, there's many a night that I've hacked a thousand lines or more,
But EMACS source in 20k, that I've never seen before.

4)
Then as I logged in on a Thursday night, as drunk as drunk can be,
I saw some empty logfiles, where my old logs should be
So I walled my users and asked of them, will you kindly tell to me
What are these empty logfiles, where my old logs should be?

"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool, still you cannot see
You blew those away this morning 'cuz there wasn't much space free."
Well, there's many a night that I've hacked a thousand lines or more,
But totally empty logfiles, that I've never seen before.

5)
Then as I logged in on a Friday night, as drunk as drunk can be,
I saw a System V ps(1), where my ps should be
So I walled my users and asked of them, will you kindly tell to me
What's this System V ps(1), where my ps should be?

"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool, still you cannot see
a-u-x is obsolete, we now use f and e"
Well, there's many a night that I've hacked a thousand lines or more,
But System V flags on Berkeley, that I've never seen before.

6)
Then as I logged in on a Saturday night, as drunk as drunk can be,
I saw a daemon running where my old daemons should be
So I walled my users and asked of them, will you kindly tell to me
What's this strange daemon right where my daemons ought to be?

"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's the new web server code that you installed for me."
Well, there's many a night that I've hacked a thousand lines or more,
But a web server called "crackit", that I've never seen before.

7)
Then as I logged in on a Sunday night, as drunk as drunk can be,
I saw a superuser shell, on ttyp3
So I walled my users and asked of them, will you kindly tell to me
Who is this superuser shell that clearly isn't me?

"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's just the contract admin that the agency sent to thee."
Well, there's many a night that I've hacked a thousand lines or more,
But a contractor trusted with root - that I've never seen before.

NOTE: As terminology varies between different people, I should point
out that I pronounce "/etc" as "etcetera". In other cases - if in doubt,
pronounce the slash.

And apologies to contractors everywhere.
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-- 
Computer Science System Administrator, Trinity College, Dublin, Ireland
       mike.knell at cs.tcd.ie -=- http://www.cs.tcd.ie/Mike.Knell/