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A notoriously absent-minded professor was one day observed walking along
the street with one foot continually in the gutter, the other on the
pavement.A pupil meeting him said:"Good evening, professor. How are
you?""Well," answered the professor, "I thought I was all right when I left
home, but now I don't know what's the matter with me. I've been limping for
the last half-hour."
It was time for an elderly gentleman to be put into a nursing home, as his
grown children could no longer care for him.After a week, the children went
to visit their father at the nursing home. During the visit, the father
leaned to the right, and a nurse quickly came over and propped him up with a
pillow. A little while later, he leaned to the left, and again a nurse came
and propped him up with another pillow. The man's children were amazed at
how attentivethe home seemed to be, and questioned their father on how he
liked it there. He responded, "I've been treated well, but I've got to tell
you....they sure don't want you to fart here.
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