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A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all
traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got
nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer
handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away
when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's
fair - there ere plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast,
so why did *I* get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly
asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned
and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"
A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some
distance one of the engines broke down."No problem," the engineer thought,
and carried on at half-power. Further on down the line, the other engine
broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he
should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the
following announcement:"Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some
bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be
stuck here for some time. The good news is that this is a train and not a
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