[ILUG] Re: The best.....

[Daniel Goldsmith]

>There have been many arguments here about what the
> best programming language is.

Yes there have, all uninformed, as the best language
is clearly Linear-A. So precise, so formal, so
unintelligible.

>Just to keep such issues to one on-topic topic, I
>decided to start this one, in which I state the
>best tool for various tasks.

<wince>

The best:
 - Desktop Enviornment: Gnome

Right here at number one, you fail completely.
Ane Fule No that 'screen' is the sine qua non of
Desktop Environments. I remember back in the
old 'glass teletype' days, fantasising about
Plan9. It turned out to be bloated and buggy.

 - IDE: Eclipse

IDE? Pchaw! Far from IDEs that actual work
ghets done. As a matter of first principle,
if a tool describes itself as an aid for any
programming task, then it clearly isn't. This
category is so valueless I'll not even go
further.

 - Text Editor: Vim

Knowest thou not this of old, since man was placed upon
earth, That the triumphing of the wicked is short, and
the joy of the hypocrite but for a moment?  Though his
excellency mount up to the heavens, and his head reach
unto the clouds; Yet he shall perish for ever like his
own dung: they which have seen him shall say, Where is
he?  He shall fly away as a dream, and shall not be
found: yea, he shall be chased away as a vision of the night.

 - Programming Language for a beginner: Python

Python? With, like, real words and actual numbers? No no no.
That won't do at all! Beginners should learn something which
allows them to get right down to the guts of the computer.
Assembler! That's the only way to go. Cut your teeth on that
and all the rest becomes gravy.

 - Programming Language for Enterprise: C++

Okay, once the putative programmer has become comfortable
with the concepts underlying the actual machine code, they
may need to use a program which offers some felxibility.
Algol 68 nicely fits that niche. Less bloat, more control.

 - Widget toolkit: wxWiogets

Widgets are an abomination unto Luggan. The only widgets
a true follower of the faith needs are all represented
by the ASCII set. If it can convey a creepy dungeon full
of wyverns, cockatrices, minotaurs and deadly newts,
then it can suffice for closing these window pane
thingummies.

 - SQL Database: PostgreSQL

SQL, like Widgets, are an abomination. Why bother, when
dynamic memory arrays are simply divine for that use?
Yes, the actual processes of the system mean that a very
talented and, most importantly, expensive programmer is
needed to carry out the work, and they may fall over all
the time, resulting in huge cost overruns for the PHBs,
but isn't that kind of the purpose?

 - Word Processor: KWord

Dear Gods!! Unless that 'K' is and ascii representation
of some obscure greek letter, designed cunningly to make
newbugs thing it is pronouncable, then what are you on?
All word processors need greek words. They are controlled
by cunning escape characters built into the text, and
the output is always a wonderful surprise. WYSIWYGs are
completely non-orthagonal.

Of course, KWord may vbe acceptable if it is a 'witty'
(FVV of witty) clever (ditto) acronym - preferably a
recursive one for extra geek points. Something like
KWord - Kword won't open regular documents.

 - HTML Rendering Engine: KHTML

Bloat. Pure and simple. The only html engine worth even
considering would be w3, or maybe, for those wierdos
with deviant tastes, lynx. Any renderer which makes a
website look like it did back when archie and veronica
ruled the roost is a lean and useful (qua usable) engine.

 - Distribution for:

Distribution of what? Shoes?

 - - Enterprise: Debian

<guffaws> Debian! Run by a screaming pack of psycho
hobbyists who take twelve months to decide on a release
schedule which meets the approval of their own little
shadowy cabal? Never! OpenBSD would have been my choice
here, but I have recently been made aware of FreeSCO.
This is a much more implementable solution for the
IT-minded manager. If the management cannot be persuaded
of the merits of that, if something is needed to make
a true impression, then a nice VAX, running BSD 3.2,
is your best bet.

 - - Desktop: Ubuntu

Again, this strange desktop obsession. Irregardless,
the only answer here can be LFS, or, for the more
time and resource starved, Slackware. But a fork from
Slack, preferably one run by some embittered loners
who think Patrick comitted heresy when he allowed
KDE into the system back at 4.1.

 - - Recovery: Tomsrtbt

A true user has no need of recovery tools. His RAIDs
are his children. Her backups take up the room formerly
known as the canteen. If one of the fifteen raid arrays
cannot be relied on, then it is sacrificed to the gods.
The uber user also cannot make use of Toms. It won't
run on the VAX because the tapes can't be run at a high
enough speed.

 - Coffee: Caramel Javalanche from Java City in UCG.

Carmel isn't coffee. Coffee comes in a big pot. It is
prepared on Friday evening by the last person to leave.
Three shovels of coffee, ground between the surfaces of
two blocks of asbestos, are thrown at the filter. The
beings which populate the filter take it and add 'water'
(don't ask) The pot is then put on a hotplate, and left
there for the weekend. On the morning of the third day,
the filter people empty their night-soil into the pot.
The pot continues to bubble and broil all week. The best
cup of coffee can be had on a Thursday.