[ILUG] OT M$ Stupid Ad

[paul at clubi.ie]

On Fri, 18 Apr 2008, Rory Browne wrote:

> On Fri, Apr 18, 2008 at 11:07 AM, David Howe <david.howe at howesystems.com> wrote:
>> Well, I should really treat my customers like idiots as it works for M$.
>>  See the promo video below for SP1.
>>
>>  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPv8PPl7ANU
>
> I can't get youtube at work - can someone summerise this for me?

It opens with a vista logo, then a guy's arse stands in front of it, 
reminiscent of some 80s pop video..:

        . . . .  ... ..................... . .  .  . . . .       .
       QQQQQiiQdd3mWWWH&ZXX2oSS1evv*TvX}{vvQlimdZXXo#WiXQin=iiivWWdWd
       ZQZiQQiW##xWZX22oonvonvlIlllIvvnw1vlliQQQd#xxooZUQZdv|i<QZQQWW
       ZQZlQlQdxxmQQmnvvIlllii|||iIlll3%ZiWQ8dxWQxxZX=13ZWZIi|]liZZZQ
       ZZZQiZWdoo<vQ1oqggYYY!?MYY!!*!!M4T*!+=+++!!!!|Is|=o=:|iwliiiiZ
       iiiQQQiWXX<WQmm#oQWWdWQdX==3d|lnvvl:l:i=+=====3dl==vliqQQQQiii
       QilQvvlWXX)WQvQ%QQZQZWdd###xnvxx#W#xxZ==vIi|===)|+vvivQQQQlQli
       QQQQvvi#==WQQQQiZZZZQWdx#xx##X#xxx#xXX=li=========||:QQvQQQlll
       vvQQQQi#=XQQQQQWWWWWQWdd##WQ>xdxoZXXXXvl||=========|jvQvQQQQlQ
       vvvvvQZXo)WQQQiWWWWWddxoXXXXGdxX=XX===n:i:n=v:==+++|wvQQQQQQQl
       vQvQvQisnn3vQvWQW#x#=xsXXXonXnXZXXXX=nI==ivvv|==+=={vvQvQQQQQQ
       QQQvvvQnol:){QWWd#ood#XoX=n=Zn=XX=nnnv:|=invi=++=++jvvQvQQvQQQ
       QiQQvvv#1vvnvQWdxxdddsXX=ol%on==nnnvnvl|+:vv====+=qvvQQQQQQQQQ
       iillQQi1I:)iaWd##oX#x=X==vv:vn=nnnvvv::|ivv=======4vQQQQQQQQQQ
       iZZiilQg,=_vQqQQmqogwwowc:i|:vvovvlIvv|i:|==+===+=)QlQQlQlllll
       ZQZZZiQ%i#od<QxWQdxQ|VVCva=;_;unqwaavgaaas_,;=_=+==3liliililil
       QQQQQQiQliX$dZWWWWd=7d=sd=X(!!!)*TTT)**!!!d!~|!====+<QQ#QiQZ|W
       WWWWWQilii%Zd#W$QZ##s1uXI=1s==jm;ilIv:==+:=i=====;;;)Q<>Z>QW=d
       d#dddWW0HOOZV*V)+TTT!)!!!!!!!vmWWg|Ili|=+iv|===;=;=;=SWW#dxo=x

Then it cuts to a shot of a Bruce Springsteen-like guitarist, and his 
backing band:

       ====:|i=+===|>)!)|iiii:lvIvn======nnnnvnvvvvl:l::iii|i|||=====
       =+===+=======||||i|ii:llvvvn==XXZXX===nonnvvvvIlll:Ivlii||i|is
       +++=+=======|||i:ii::Ivvq====oQmy9m#XX====UE=nnvvnn=V6=vIl::v3
       =========||||:v3GllIvno=HX==XxZIsdQ#oXXXXXooX=nnon====nvvvvvn=
       =+=+===||||i:lvXnvvvnno====XXNoNp!c#XXX====X=oonnnnno=vvvvvvvv
       ==|uqg||||ii::qpovvvvnnn====3d|CQX1oX=X=====nnnnnnnvvvvvvvlu;v
       =%v3O@||||iiilQ$znvvnvnnnnn=2IoGW#cX=onnnnnnvnvnvvnvvvvIv:vQei
       vvnn|+=|||i||39}I:lIvvvvvvu>Xw1]NWcnvndQunvvvvvvvnWnvvvv:vv)li
       n)Qz=|||||||<qgIIvvvlIvIvvV1)VAnnVQpun23GvvIvvvvvI!|||ivnvvi+=
       ==WG=|||||||:dC|:vIll::::In=uv|=%5+41Zn::IlllllI====;=;+1ni===
       <:)#&%==|=||i:II|lIv======|lni|u:nv|nnClvIl::::|===;=;===Qg===
       =||||=====||iIvvivn|=;;=;;=i||X3mzv|v%vlilii:::|;;;=;;;=;]~===
       ==+|===||==||ii:|i||;:;;==;=|i(<wc|||::iii:i|||=;;;;;=;;;==;;;
       ===+;;===++===+||=+;;:;;;;==|===9E|=:v=:iii|==;=:;;;;;;;;;;;;;
       ;;============<:===;:;;;=;===|++|v:=i:|l||=|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:;;;
       ;==|:|=======<c:====::;;;;==;=;===|=ii|i=||=;;;;;:;;;:;;;;;;:;
       ;;;=3w%=+====)|vwun=sauva};<wvnuav;<;ou3vu=u;aaa_zua<w:;;;:;;;
       =;=;=H[====;==^==+=:+=`++=========`=======;==+===+===-=:;:;:::

He then starts singing about Vista, and we move to a close up:


       ====+======+==+===|==|=|||=|||=|||||||||iivlnvIIll:|||||=|||||
       ========++==========|=|==|=|=|=|||||i:ii|=il:i||iii|||||||=|||
       =++==============|=||=|=||=||==|=|%vvn:i<i=||==||i||==|ii|||||
       ======+===========||==||=|=|=|=|=v=vxanlXnv||=|ii|==+===||||||
       =+++==+===|====|=|==|=|=||=|||=||lnqQiQa=1nlli|i=====+===|||||
       ===+=+===|==|||=||=|==|=|=||===|=|Q}0XiQQnuXl|||=|=====+==||||
       =++++======|===||=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=ynwx##QiZo:|==ii|==+=+=|||||
       =====+===|===||=|==|=|=|=|===|==|wiZQvQiZQW#%|aui:|===+===||||
       +++========|======|========|====)NTXmiQWWWW#XnXWu=====++======
       =+++=+===========|=======|=======|]VWWWWWQW#xXooavi|==+===|=||
       =+================|==|=|=|=<yqmu|=xZdWWWWWd#X=n=d#xX=a=wa=||==
       ===+===++=+=+============<w38#&XvivyZQWWdxX=o==#ddddddmvivg>==
       =======++====+=+=+====<axZ)vvvIl:lvox#ZX=no==x#WdWWdnuQiQvi|=+
       ========+=+=+++++++=|3Z*v:||====3mmM#mm1ii==XxddddWdvQQlQQ#===
       ;;;=====+===+====<v:i|i=====+=<wK#Qv}$Qn0nvxQd#x#ddQvQllQW>===
       ;;;;=;======+=|||====+=+==+==<N#QQQ0qQI0XQviWQQWdWQ%ZXd|Wx:=+=
       ;;;;;=;=====+jaqyyjnqyyygz=qyE at QvlivQvWmQQQ$%QQvQzmiQmlZde====
       ::;:;;;;;;;==+!++|<lT=++++<)jvZOiQQQilllIiQl#VW8dxWQUUQdo:+===

It goes on like that, a standard "pop-rock star in concert" video, 
including shots of the crowd rocking away and enjoying the music 
(though, if they're MS developers, perhaps they're banging their 
heads for other reasons):

       l:lvIvIvvvvnvnnnnnn=o========X====o=nnnnvvvIl:iii|i|||=|======
       Ill:llvvvvvnvnnnvoooon=o========o=nnnnnvnvvlI:::ii|||||=======
       :lllIvIvvvvnvnvn==onn=o=n=====on=nnnn=n=nnvvIll:iii||||=======
       v:lIIvIvvvnvnvnoWddXnnnonnnnonnonnnndxX====nvll:lIvv:i|||=====
       #anIvvvvvnvn=#odW#donnnnnnnnnnnno=xXXo=XX==nIIlln==Xli|||=|===
       #dxavvvvnvo=vX#dddx=nnXsnnnnn=nnn=ZXxxxo==ovlIl:v===li|||||=|=
       =XXX=nvvvvn=nXdZXXX=nX==nn=Xnnnnv==X==Xoxo=n=XXXann=nv:i||||=|
       ===X1vIvvvvvvv)d#==XZxanvnXxonnvoXXXnvXXX==o==XxX==nnnnn:||||=
       lln:vuaavvvvlIv3dXxx#xxav=XWx=nvvv=Xo=1nnno=n=no==nnvnnv:|||||
       :v=n=#xWZQanul:3oxx#xxXo==Xx=vvnvvv==onnnn=ooooonnnnnn=X=%|||=
       vv=X=#ddWQWWnuuxxxxxxo==X=vnvvvvvvo==nonnnvnvnnnnnvvvvvnl:||||
       vnon=nXddx#WQQQimmwwyn==nnv=lnXnvvnnnnnnnvvvvvnvnn:|i|inn=:===
       nvvvnnn=XwqQQwvQvvvvQvs>v::::::::vvvnvvvvvI:lIvvvnlii||iI=v|=|
       vvI<mQZZiQQQQQQQQvvvvQQ#l:::iiiiilvvvvvvvllllIvvvv:i|||===+===
       v|v#WWQZZZZZZiiii8QQi8#ciii|i|iii:vvvvIIl::::ll:ll:||=+=====+=
       v:Xd#x#d#|d#Wd#dWQOiWxds=|<%=ivalll:::::<ai||li:ii|=+=+=======
       n=odZ*1l){XQggjmgmsWn1WwQv#<yQlm<Qp>wqw|Q3wQymgipwm;qnyvpwy=|=
       nn)+:iii:)%1I1I1)1v):1:I1:I1T+IIi>)1Il!l)1>I||)I!]!|+>|+|+|===

There's some other scenes that are mixed in, like (presumably) MS 
sales-droids being photographed with some awards. These sales-droids 
are so happy, they're jumping for joy:

        .. ... .. .. .... :__.:___.:.:..........  ... .:.. :.... ...
       www99MN0MMauaammvQQN9H{QI11YY1YYgMgI1W1Qm6xdXeQvWWnvmdZoovWQvv
       ..:is%XcU_##wwsX:W#jviZ3-^vowz!!90o at 9mmma#X=Qm>dX<mwmmmmmQwZQZ
       #SZmmmmZTosn2++X|WQwQviZ+<QiZGf=vW*MYWQQv$oo3MidZ3qWmEnvn#OHM|
       XdXSooQQmWX!(|vZ|QliliiwlwvQN(#we1wu=]WQvQdovW0V$5Xmq+|4{Wiwmm
       |3X#={dE3wozwvZ1liZQvvQQQDV3S#gWswQWqwQWvQQdduv%vHXQD|<vnW}**M
       -vn|X2qZWTSVX)QviQQmQvZ+1XGW#WmQQWQ>d3IQ#ZQW#dx=lv9MnuqnWQ>QWd
       #)#smmmQmdX#mzoXovvW1W==oZmQQm@#m#wi=a3Z|WQQ1=IqggxWmyMC3Q#QWW
       loQmvQQQvQQmQWm#mQQQvvviQnQvvWX1OlnQiW#X)8doov3WWQZmQQoodW>Wdd
       XZXWQQQQvQQWv1WZ#Q0**!"TVQQvQXQQ=WmlZZZZ=vnn:|3lvvmQQvnodWCZQQ
       mQvW1YVMIm1QQQQmQ{Xni|===){vWXmWgvv#Qiov:|vvi|3vI9008HMIBd&QiZ
       QQQ at 3ZnnvvV*vWmTG=1|;====|iI9WZTm%+dxx3ci|ici={vg3WQvvoSmQuQvv
       Zmswunwgno=nI9GX)+=_gQ8gulln=)MMHQgdQ?3n|=)G;==3><iQZQmmmWVQQQ
       QQQvQvQQvigmx=)<wyWQQvvQnvmgnnv#=vvvvnl3p==)Nu;=!3QvQQ2X1ivQvQ
       QQvvvQvQQv at vQmmvWQiQvvQv2vQQCvd1|=_gX=l3vvg/;-5,==HvlQZZzlvQQQ
       QvQvvQvvQ1WQQvvvWQiQvQvv2vvinQG:=wmnXXl3QQQsg==_;=+3iQZZzivQQv
       III8008000MMMMMM*XiO99MMM0H*dW+;]HH|5v=dd#d#+_UI#n=|)+!MNTvTHH
       mmmmmMmMMMMMNHHHTQs at W0HHDQzg%ryN#XZ#opgMZXqZMCZWsaB;;QnnQWQQvQ
       mw#X#mXZZ#XXXXXSnQWmZZZmmmsmgv+Mm#mmmmgsW#mmWmWWmWW#>!HQQQQQQv
       .  . .   .   . .   .      .   .   .  .....    .   .  ..

However, some enterprises are a bit wary of Vista - we get a shot of 
trunculent customers holding a meeting where the boss advises they 
should hold back on Vista:

        . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   .   .  .  . .  .  .
       #WQQiiiiiiiililili|8)V)VxdddWdWQiililQiidx#<#XZxXZmiZZQd#xZXXX
       #WQZiiiiilliliiiWdov:||=ivI3#WdQilillQiid#Wi#Xx#oxQiZQQddxoZoX
       dQZZiiiiliiliZmvmguavii:v:i|<HllllllQviiWWWi>o#doxQlQZQdd#xooX
       QiiiiiililllQEIvo#vQiQWd#xa||]QlQlQlQvliWWWi#x#dx#QiZQQWd#xxxo
       iQQQQQQlllliEni|n#vQQiQd##dciviQQQQQQvilWWQi>##d##iiQQWdxxxZXo
       QQQQQQQQvQQQkvn1**liZQW#ddd#aQvvvvvvvQQlWQQi#xQW#dQcQQWo)3I:v=
       QvQvQvQvvvvQnv3sgw$iano=Z#dW#vvQvvvvvQlQnxdi##xxo#UcV)1vwa1i:v
       WWWWWQQWWWWQw2mlXh1W#dWddddGQQQvQvQQQWQQ>odW###xodW5v=uZ=nlv:v
       ##ZZ#ZTVZZmW##EQXQ&X=Xxxx#WwmWWWQQQQQWQQ#o#d######XoW2=n=:|i+=
       kS2S2o=jMMQiWmsmcI=vIXXoZ#Up##ZmQvQQQWvQ#odd#xxxoWdWWGl|v:|+==
       Cnnvnv;)T1ei1vWQ1Q#o=XXXXxx+9*w1vWWWWXQvWX##XZXXZdmI:i=|==|+=;
       clivaXY!+!Z#e]{WQWdoXX=XwQE==+=+!9M*Wdvv##XXoXXxxWQp=|=%>====;
       M9TXvl:|vXZxedz)%d1InnwQiQ(=====|==+=+!T+*XXXZooxWE3gvii|+=+=;
       vn=vIiiin==Xv3WT<mzl==v9iZ:====+========+==|Xxox#Q3Znwmgg=|===
       o==n:||Ilv==vjqQgx(|<mZiQ>|==+===+==+++=+====oXooQW2XQlIIi+=|=
       ==Xn:ii<IvnnvjQ%#5i=]QQvvf+=====++=|=====+==oXXX=mWW)viWWQga|_
       |iXXvT<%wQmQcwn#wQ<wwQQv$qyyyipsmyqH;qqqqzydymnQwWWneQivvuVWm>
       ;)xXv||+{)IIl32iI)l!3Qvvi+)>+=+<||==(>>>|i:|||)V*HQ#NZ&d0MmZQ1

It goes on for a bit. We get a shot of a cute-ish female groupie in 
the audience shooting our Bruce-a-like a "I give head for backstage 
passes" look:

            .  .   .   .      .        .   .  .  .
       nXXoXox####xX###oX=noo==o==XXXX===XXXXZXXoXXoXooZZoZZXX=X=nnvn
       vXXxoxxxxxxXx###oXovnnnnnn======on==XXXXXZXoXoXZXoXZXX=X==nvvv
       {==Zoxx#xxxZxxxx=XX=vvvvn=onvvnvvvvvnn=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=X==nnnv
       lv==XoooooXXX=X==XXXvvvvnvvvvvvvvnnnno=o==XXXXXZXXXXX=X===vvvv
       :vnnon=XxZX===nvvXxonvvvvvvvvvvvo=omQuvno===XX=XXZXXX=====vvvv
       <nno=X#xo#xX==vvXXX#avvvvvvvlv=xdWZi|Wnn===XX=XXXXXXXvnonnvvvv
       nn===x#xooZ==nvvnn=xZnvnvIvIv=xdmQ#QQQc=o=X==X=X=X=XnvvvvvvIaM
       v=n===nnnnn=nnnnIIvvvvvvvvvn==xdZQdQQZG========X=XXnvIvIvlqM'.
       vnnonvnvvvnvnnnnvlvvvvvnwu=XXxx#dWdWQmg=====XX===ovvlIllvm^:..
       :nnnnvnvnnnnvvvvvlIvugwvQvm###xox#ZQmQQgnlvvIvvIvvvlIlvvN':.::
       ilvvvvvvnvvIvvvvuqyQQvvvQQnmiWdWQmWQQQvQ#:IIvlvIvlIv::nN':::::
       ii:lvlvvvIlv:vqdQiQQvvQvQvQQQvvnvWQQQvv at l:lIlllllIlllqF`::::=+
       |:llIlvIIllll]QiQZZllQvvvQvQQQQQvQvQQvZo:IllllllIlvaM^:.:;=+||
       |:::IlIv:lll:n3QviiQZQQQvvQQvvvQQvvIIQQWullllllvIayF`:::++||||
       ==|ii:l::iii:on39IQ&UilQQvvvvvIiiQmvQ$Z*1v:lvvuwmF` ::=+||i|il
       ====+=||||<vno=X1lv==dZiQQviQQQliilQl}vI=vuywNw^:::+|+||iilIvn
       ===+==4%g#mmyQ3vqw%vvmQvvQZQuQQQ%WIQimwNHrcU#$XaavwcnawwXowXmm
       =;===+=<=od##*i{lI)5XV)V|Z8i8ZZ#dQNT}+=:+|||iiIn22nnnXXX#mWQQQ
                             ..   .    . . . .  . . . .       .


it goes on for a while, the previously truculent customers cop on to 
the joys of Vista after hearing about all the benefits of Vista SP1. 
We get a shot of a thief being nabbed by a Superhero (the superhero 
symbolises Vista's "Bitlocker" feature, rather than the thief 
symbolsing MS - contrary to what some readers of this list would 
think):

       vvnn=Ivi||==|=|||)9vvvQmm#ZXXXiiillllililiiWisni|||====+=+=++=
       vnn=XZs==+===l==__wWQWWmZXXS2oiiiiiiiiiiiiQQQXnnnv:i||========
       o=XXx#dng=|vI<gvQQvmmWmmm!MM+T4QZZZZZiiiiii3z==onvv:i||====+==
       XZx#dWWZ+==|<QQv0XSoXmm!(|ITH1|%ViZZZZZZiii3$oXX==nvIi|||====+
       o#dWWQie====]vK1vvviv#1u|iil<c||nWiiiiZiZZQ2iXXZoZX=nvI:i|||==
       #dQQZilc||==)!!9YVXU%3Wz|=ox#xn|oWQQQZiiiiQ1Z=XXXXX==nvv:i||==
       dWQilQQlgg%iiiii==||+)9i==XXXX1yWQQQWQQQZ|H1QZ=)=XXX===nvI:|||
       QiZiliXmVX}wp%ii||ii:::qxQqggwUMHIiiiWXXvv%lZ=<==3wwqm#ZX=vv:i
       iQ%|QmWovil+_/cp=i|iii|3llilQllgc:vT)nv::::3s<a|=|QQQQWmqqgggg
       d$mm&m&Zv+=vvXmbg%:iiiiiT9QQQQi>lI:::::i:l:va|===)8QmmmmnmQvQQ
       qQiQm2vvvs%ZZ2uQQqvii:::::IvIII:vlI:::::i:van=======TM9,|iejdQ
       QvvvQ#zlv1mQ5X|d##n:ii|::::::vll::vvIvIl::)X+{|========]MXc)eQ
       QvQWWWQWgQMN8M0M0H5ii|i::::::llvIv:::vIvl:il==+===++=+===T{3$W
       QivQWQQ1ukwwwqwX=nvi|:iiii::::vvv:||ii:IIvl:=====+=+=jw====]lQ
       QZi8iOS?!TVVV*V)))=av::ii|::I::::i||:===||:vl|=+++++_QQi=++<#W
       QQQQSQn_uanvvvvvv>|+)XWxwggwauuni:|v=<======+=======ji@^===)Wd
       VxZ=!!))1Ivvvvvvv<%g2g{{W?l at QQQ}jC#Ee#3Vw;nywqQpwm==T*===ac:==
       v+i+======+++===+-=+|||i+|+(+|+=|!<!(++="=+|T^+|)(====+=oXv|no

The Jazz solo kicks in, allowing Brucey to sort out his after-show 
recreational needs by inviting the groupie onto the stage to dance 
with him:

       vwgaI:iii|||||||=|=====||=;=======|=|=|vnvvvl::ii||======++==+
       :#Wnv::|i||||===|=====jie3<a=========i=vv:|i||||=======++====+
       wox=I:ii|ii||=||=======!$nd<v=======vovlnn=vl:i||||==+==++====
       I1nv:i|ii|i||||=||||====3ZQx=l=|====3X:noa=ov:vvl||===+=+====+
       ||==|||||i||||||<xx=:===)9QQnuai==|=)XgwiqmwmHT*3VNMyg=====+++
       ====|=|||||i|alidXXXnv==|=)3ZQmz=====3QQQQZvllvnoSn##qdg=|=+==
       ======|=|||||5||lo==v:|=|=|<ZQ>+|+====T#QQonvvvvno2XWvv1iu+===
       ======|=||||{XiiiZw?:lI||v||3dQc=+====+)m5onvnvnnoXZQvvvQQgc==
       ==+=+===|=||nuc{=Z+li::||i|=<dQQ;=|+==||)EoonggggwwmQvvQQvQQc=
       ====+===||=|3ZiQwa:l|:Ia%|==UQiQZic====+joX1vvQQQvQQlIvvQQQlic
       +====+=====|ZZT!VgwaqdWW#ac)iiQQQQi=====j#QQQQQQQvvQlWUQQvQlli
       ==+=====|qu*5vMNXXZZdiQdW#ci9QZOiilgw=|=]WvQQvQvvQvQZQQvvvQiii
       ====+===|nnnvwXW#ZZ#Zo%ddwQu%+9V#diQvQggJWllQvvvvvlZQQQvvQliii
       ======|||vwqlZ@{###mm#WW#mWvin%=|!XiiililiQiiQQQQQiiQWQvQQiiZi
       =;==Qx#ZX#d#V)<QWQvvIIWWmWWQv2|===:)VQZZiilllililiiZW#QQiiZZZQ
       =;=+T)!==|||||jQIQiZZlQvIiZW1e=====ivIX#dQQQZZZZZZZW#oZiiZQQQW
       =;========+===jiZQWWZiiiiQZ!|=======ivv:{3VdWWQZZiZdxXWQQWWQWW
       ;;;;;;;===liiviiiQxW||8#*!+===+=====+|::|=+IXVV|8VX=nXdddWdd##


It finishes up with some slogans from boring white sales guys on how 
much MS sales team and Vista rocks, before cutting back to the singer 
giving the same slogan as his finale.

Pretty much everything needed to appreciate why sales people deserve 
to be despised is contained in this video..

NB: You may need advanced squinting skills to fully appreciate the 
glory of this post.

regards,
-- 
Paul Jakma	paul at clubi.ie	paul at jakma.org	Key ID: 64A2FF6A
Fortune:
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.